18 weeks, just over 68 pounds...

It's Monday again, and I cannot believe I am saying this, but...Monday is becoming  my favorite day of the week.  And it really has nothing to do with being my weigh-in day (although that doesn't hurt any).  Having Monday as a day off has seriously changed my opinion of probably the most-hated day of the week around the world.  Mondays make me feel pretty good because I usually get a lot done on Mondays that I've been putting off, and I am the Queen of Procrastination, for those who might not realize.  Fact.  I am a true ostrich at heart, and burying my head in the sand is something I do with panache.  I'm not necessarily proud of it, you understand; but if you're going to do something, do it right.

The no-longer-evil scale says I lost 3 pounds last week, bringing my total to 68.5.  It's interesting to note (at least to me) that I lose more weight on the weeks I eat more food.  It makes sense in the metabolism-fired-up way, but it's not something most people can square in their heads.  I still haven't really started exercising (except for shake-weight arm/shoulder workout), but I certainly run around doing other stuff a lot more than before.  So I guess that's gotta count for something, right?  I know one thing...our stairs are a lot easier to climb now.  They must have become much more shallow, and there are probably less of them than before :)

~k

still cleaning out clothes!

Our room looks like the local thrift store, though I am making a valiant attempt at clearing it all.  Stacks and stacks of clothes, sorted by size and season, litter almost every available surface.  Standing in the middle of it all yesterday, it was hard to believe that I have removed over 4 giant tubs already, and that doesn't even count what I've cleaned out of the closet.  I made another trip to the consignment store and found out that a few of my things already sold (1st or 2nd day there) and she was ready to write me a check.  I told her to just keep it on balance because now that she has almost all my jeans and capris, I'll be needing to find some more.  Hard to believe I could want any more clothes, but the sizes I have now are not aligning with the seasons and I find myself without many jeans or capris to wear for the next month or so.  I guess this is maybe one of those times I can be thankful that I like brands like Baby Phat, Apple Bottoms, Torrid, etc. because they sure sell well at the consignment shop.  And that lady in there loves me.  As I left yesterday, she called "keep bringing in your stuff, you've got GREAT clothes!!"  Man, don't I know it.  If she could only see my bedroom...

So at my weekly Monday meeting with my scale yesterday morning, I was down another 4.5 pounds, for a total of 65.5.  I am sure I will hit a plateau at some point, probably soon, and that's okay with me.  You would think that I'd have a time frame in which I expected to lose this weight, something like "I'll be a size whatever by summer", but I really don't.  I think I'm just so grateful that it's actually working, and so stunned every week by my progress, that I don't care much about the time that's passing or when I'll reach goal, or anything else for that matter.  I'm just humbled and thankful to feel so good and to enjoy putting on clothes again.  You know, there are so many little victories along this path, things not represented by the number on the scale or any other measuring stick.  Things like wrapping a bath towel around myself after a shower and realizing it overlaps itself, with no gaping spots.  Imagine.  A towel fits around me now!  Or I pick up an around-the-house shirt to put on and realize it is no longer tight across the shoulders and actually hangs down my arms.  And I doubt there's a way to measure the loss of self-consciousness and how it affects nearly everything I do.  I feel more like looking up and around instead of looking down or trying to hide myself. And something as simple as crossing my legs or curling up in the corner of the sofa as I read, then having it occur to me, all of a sudden like, that I couldn't sit that way a few months ago.  It's almost comical to be sitting in a chair, then look down and realize your legs are crossed and want to jump up and yell "HEY! MY LEGS CAN CROSS AGAIN!!"  However, since this particular revelation happened in church (where I sit at the front, literally in front of God and everybody) I decided to keep it inside and simply smile instead.

Wow, didn't mean to ramble on and on...but anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely cannot make a long story short (or ANY story short, for that matter) so I guess one should expect this if you dare to read my blog.  But since I do actually have a job and a beautiful, fabulous, hell-on-wheels car to pay for, I'll close here.  Happy Tuesday to all :)

~k

clothing gluttony (and weight loss)

As of this morning, I am officially half-way there!  WOO-HOO!!  Another 2 pounds are gone, which brings the total to 61, which is exactly half the amount I'm trying to lose.  I feel very, very fortunate in that I feel so well and don't seem to have problems with anything.  I am finding that I live on grilled chicken nowadays and I love it.  The best part is that I've yet to find a restaurant that doesn't serve some form of grilled chicken, so eating out is no problem.  Well, I guess there is one problem.  John and I were just discussing (over dinner at Oliveto's) that we will probably never eat at home again once Spencer moves out this summer.  Seriously.  I do cook (yes, Mom, I really do) a few nights a week, but since Spencer hasn't come home any evening for the past 2 weeks, it's just John and I and we always end up eating out.  I don't mind this; it's no hardship on me (I hate to cook for those of you who might not know) but it does feel a little strange.  But if I cook here, I am only cooking for John because what I eat doesn't amount to enough to count for anything.  Getting used to cooking for 1 or 2 is just weird after cooking for 4 healthy eaters for the past 15-20 years.  But you have to enjoy each stage of life as it comes, and if this stage means no more cooking, along with driving a car that only seats 2 and can't haul groceries or kids, I guess I'll find a way to persevere.  :)


In other news....I am feeling a little ashamed of myself today.  I spent yesterday going through my clothes and I am astounded at my gluttony when it comes to clothes shopping.  I don't think I realized how much stuff I had, but now I do and I am amazed at how much I have spent on clothes (and shoes) in the past decade or two.   I packed three huge tubs, and I still have a closet full, a 6-foot table with stacks and stacks of shirts and jeans, plus another wall of stacked T-shirts and lounge clothes by the bed.  And that doesn't even count the drawers under the bed or the armoire in our room.  It's mind boggling and also sad that I could be this way and not really even realize it until now. Even worse is the fact that I am not a pack rat (like someone else I live with) and I do go through clothing and have major clean-outs periodically.  I cannot even tally the amount of clothing I have donated to Goodwill and the Salvation Army over the last 20 years, and still I have enough to clothe a third-world country at this point.  But I am going to work on correcting this bad habit, even though I know that shopping for smaller clothes is a lot of fun.  If I can just make myself wear what I already have (in smaller sizes) I shouldn't need to buy anything at all until late this summer.  But even then, I am going to make a promise to myself to cut the retail therapy down to something reasonable (and not more than I can actually wear in a season).  Hopefully I won't need formal counseling or a 12-step program to accomplish this.


Okay, so a pic from today.  And this one is for Christy, who told me I needed some new clothes for my new body (because, as she said, my other clothes were way too big).  This is actually a top I've had for several years, a favorite from Torrid, and some jeans I couldn't even pull up past my lower thighs a few weeks ago.  It's a happy day :)

~k

another Monday, another few pounds...

It's Valentine's Day!  Or, as one of my FB friends put it this morning, Single's Awareness Day!!  (thanks, Katie) =]  I'm not really sure why this day deserved exclamation points, but it just looked sad with a period.  I don't get really excited about this day, and it's not because the new has worn off or because we've been together for the last 23 of these holidays.  I think it's because I am lucky enough to be married to someone who treats me as if every single day is Valentine's Day.  Not with gifts or cards or chocolates, but with small things that mean so much more; going to get me Sonic iced tea before work because he knows I love it...shoveling all the snow out of the driveway and street so I could pull the Camaro out without having to worry...bringing me flowers for no reason at all...being willing to go just about anywhere, anytime of the day or night if I want or need something...doing little things just because he knows they will bring me happiness.  And so, yes, maybe this particular holiday isn't as exciting as it could be.  But I would rather have the 23 years of daily little things than an annual chocolates/flowers/teddy bear day. 


So today marks 15 weeks since this journey began and another 3 pounds since last week.  That brings my total to 59 pounds thus far, with about 60-65 more to go.  I am making a point to take at least one picture every week now (even if they are just snapshots in the powder room because we don't have a full-length mirror).  Yesterday was a happy day, as I finally tried on some old favorite pants and they fit. I totally wasn't expecting that yet and it made my day.  If I were disciplined enough, I would probably be able to lose all the way down to my goal without buying any clothes at all; that's how many tubs of clothing I have in various sizes.   It's insane, really.


Hope everyone has a happy Valentine's Day and enjoys time with the one who brings them happiness.
  

Have I mentioned that I love my car?

~k

14 weeks out...

Just over three months postop and the scale says down 56 pounds this morning.  Almost half-way, woo-hoo!!  Still struggling to get in the protein, but I'm doing a little better every week.  If only someone would make a protein pill, or just anything besides the shakes and bars.  Just typing that last line made me start to gag a little, and I'm not kidding.  


Assuming it ever gets here, I am going to attempt Zumba fitness.  I ordered it over a week ago, but it got lost in transit (guessing it is on one of those UPS trucks we saw stuck in the snow this past week) and I had to re-order, so I got a little reprieve.  I am sure it will kick my butt, but I'm going to at least try it.  If I don't post here anymore, you will know I didn't survive it.  :)


These pics were actually taken 2 weeks ago (or 7 pounds ago), but they are the most recent that I have.  Thanks to you all for the wonderfully-encouraging messages and notes.  They really do help; I feel like I have my own little cheering section.  I love it, and I appreciate it more than you know.  

I didn't think I could see the weight loss in my face, but then I found this copy of my driver's license (taken May 2010) and I decided I can see it :)  I suppose I will always have chubby cheeks, but at least they are getting less chubby.

Enjoy the next mini-blizzard coming our way.  And I never thought I'd EVER say this, but I'm ready for the snow to stop!!!  I am suffering withdrawals from Chloe and I need a fix.  Take care everyone, and be safe. 

~k

pseudo before and after (11 weeks) pics...but not really :)

Okay, so I keep getting hounded about posting some pictures, but the truth is that I am really not used to letting anyone take my picture.  In fact, I can probably count on one hand the number of snapshots that actually contain me, and none of those were with my consent (or at least I was grumpy about it).  So I have a couple of before pictures from this past fall and then a couple that I shot last night (sans make-up and everything).  They are only pics of my face because I couldn't get any of them to turn out right while using the mirror and it was just plain bizarre anyway.  I don't know if my face looks thinner yet; if it does, I certainly cannot tell.  But at least these first pics are a start.   I am going to make an effort to take more pictures to document this journey, at least for my own benefit.  I just hope it will start to come more naturally in time...(this feels really weird, I gotta say).


Weight loss between the before pics and now is 49 pounds (as of 3 days ago).  :)

hard to believe it's been 10 weeks already

I am sitting here in my living room, having just built a blazing fire and getting cozy in the squishy chair under my OSU blankie, and looking at the pretty white stuff out the window.  These are times when I truly wish we could move somewhere north, where I could have real winter with real snow for several months at a time.  Oh well.  Maybe someday.


Kelsey officially has her own place now and I am using this excuse to get rid of most of our flatware, dishes and other kitchen accessories.  We have so much stuff that the only thing I really get to replace is the silverware, but that's okay with me.  She can use this stuff, along with our old couch and a table or two, and we can use the space.  Maybe we can finally get this house uncluttered a little.  But then again, I'm sure we will re-clutter with amazing efficiency.  We always do.  Then Spencer will be moving down to Stillwater this summer and things will be really weird around here.  But since we don't see either of them all that much anymore these days, it probably won't be all that different than it is now.


Today marks 10 weeks since my surgery and I have lost 45 pounds so far.  I am also finally starting to see and feel that weight loss, which is nice.  I have about 6 tubs of clothes in our room and closet that I've kept and now I am having to dig through them to find clothes to wear to church.  I wear pajamas around here nearly 24/7, but those aren't really acceptable cantor clothing, so I've had to go digging.  It's kinda fun to find clothes I haven't seen in a while and realize they fit again.  Last night also marked the day when I finally took off my wedding band and engagement ring and put them on a ribbon around my neck.  I have those little plastic ring-sizer things, but the problem is that they get stuff in them when you wash your hands or work with food or whatever.  And forget putting on moisturizer.  So I guess they will just stay around my neck until I'm done losing and then I will get them re-sized.  I have about 75 pounds to go, but I'm not in a hurry.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  


Time to put down the laptop and go stoke the fire a little.  I hope it snows more and I am thankful I don't have to get out in it.  Chloe already got her first taste of snow yesterday when she had to be parked outside so Spencer could use the garage to fix his car and I don't think she liked it.  I know John didn't care for it.  Luckily John has a nice big truck now and he can handle all my shipping and fetching chores.  Chloe and I will stay nice and warm inside.  :)