still cleaning out clothes!

Our room looks like the local thrift store, though I am making a valiant attempt at clearing it all.  Stacks and stacks of clothes, sorted by size and season, litter almost every available surface.  Standing in the middle of it all yesterday, it was hard to believe that I have removed over 4 giant tubs already, and that doesn't even count what I've cleaned out of the closet.  I made another trip to the consignment store and found out that a few of my things already sold (1st or 2nd day there) and she was ready to write me a check.  I told her to just keep it on balance because now that she has almost all my jeans and capris, I'll be needing to find some more.  Hard to believe I could want any more clothes, but the sizes I have now are not aligning with the seasons and I find myself without many jeans or capris to wear for the next month or so.  I guess this is maybe one of those times I can be thankful that I like brands like Baby Phat, Apple Bottoms, Torrid, etc. because they sure sell well at the consignment shop.  And that lady in there loves me.  As I left yesterday, she called "keep bringing in your stuff, you've got GREAT clothes!!"  Man, don't I know it.  If she could only see my bedroom...

So at my weekly Monday meeting with my scale yesterday morning, I was down another 4.5 pounds, for a total of 65.5.  I am sure I will hit a plateau at some point, probably soon, and that's okay with me.  You would think that I'd have a time frame in which I expected to lose this weight, something like "I'll be a size whatever by summer", but I really don't.  I think I'm just so grateful that it's actually working, and so stunned every week by my progress, that I don't care much about the time that's passing or when I'll reach goal, or anything else for that matter.  I'm just humbled and thankful to feel so good and to enjoy putting on clothes again.  You know, there are so many little victories along this path, things not represented by the number on the scale or any other measuring stick.  Things like wrapping a bath towel around myself after a shower and realizing it overlaps itself, with no gaping spots.  Imagine.  A towel fits around me now!  Or I pick up an around-the-house shirt to put on and realize it is no longer tight across the shoulders and actually hangs down my arms.  And I doubt there's a way to measure the loss of self-consciousness and how it affects nearly everything I do.  I feel more like looking up and around instead of looking down or trying to hide myself. And something as simple as crossing my legs or curling up in the corner of the sofa as I read, then having it occur to me, all of a sudden like, that I couldn't sit that way a few months ago.  It's almost comical to be sitting in a chair, then look down and realize your legs are crossed and want to jump up and yell "HEY! MY LEGS CAN CROSS AGAIN!!"  However, since this particular revelation happened in church (where I sit at the front, literally in front of God and everybody) I decided to keep it inside and simply smile instead.

Wow, didn't mean to ramble on and on...but anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely cannot make a long story short (or ANY story short, for that matter) so I guess one should expect this if you dare to read my blog.  But since I do actually have a job and a beautiful, fabulous, hell-on-wheels car to pay for, I'll close here.  Happy Tuesday to all :)

~k