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Monday, May 16, 2011

bittersweet days....

I guess John and I are about to be empty-nesters with the graduation of our younger child (note that I didn't say "youngest" because that's one of my biggest pet peeves...if you only have 2 of something, you cannot ever, under any circumstances, use any adjective in the superlative form such as youngest, oldest, shortest, tallest, etc...you can only have a younger, older, taller, shorter, whatever-er...you must have 3 or more of something to use the superlative...if you've only got 2, it's comparative!!!  Okay, rant over for now.)  What seems most bittersweet about all this is that I can specifically remember those days when Kelsey was 4 and Spencer was 2 and I was home 24/7 with them (while also working from home in a field where one needs quiet) and thinking that those days were lasting forever and John would never get home and I would kill both children and end up doing 50 to life or getting the chair.  It won't come as any surprise to anyone who knows our kids, but...they are both a bit strong willed and extremely bright.  Let me tell you, raising those kinds of kids is the hardest job I've ever had to do.  It's exhausting, heart-breaking at times, frustrating most of the time...and also the greatest experience of my life.  To sit here today and realize that those days really did fly by and both children survived (as did I, in a manner of speaking), well, it's just amazing.  I won't consider our parenting a success yet, as the future is never completely certain, but I am hopeful that we gave them at least most of the tools they will need to make a good life for themselves, and that's all I really want as a parent anyway:  Kids that have the kind of life where they find happiness in whatever form that takes.  

So today I'm down only one more pound, putting the total at 83 so far.  But I'll take it and I'm happy with that.  It's funny to me that people look at me like I'm insane when I tell them I have about 40 pounds to go.  I think those people forget just how fat I became and where I started.  I'm not even trying to get back to high school weight, and I was never thin or even ideal weight at that age!  In fact, the weight I am shooting for is pretty liberal and will put my BMI in the "overweight" category instead of the "ideal" category.  But it's a weight I am fairly certain I can maintain and be happy with, as I don't feel the need to be thin any longer and for that I am thankful.  

So here we are with Spencer on the night of his commencement, May 13, 2011.  He'll be off to OSU in a couple of months and I am thrilled for him.  I think he will love college like I did and I couldn't be happier that he's attending my Alma Mater.  

I also made a collage containing both Kelsey's graduation and Spencer's.  It is also something of a weight-loss collage for me and helps me put into perspective exactly how far I've come since 2009.  


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