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Monday, September 26, 2011

food = mixed feelings

Hooray for not-summer!!  I am so thankful that fall is here and ready for even cooler temperatures.  It's so nice to be able to drive around town with the windows down again, enjoying the crisp breeze.  And the best part, of course, is that it is football season.  However, I am pretty glum about football and having a hard time getting into the NFL now that Sweet Baby Peyton is gone for the season.  I know most people wouldn't understand this, but I pretty much feel like crying every Sunday afternoon now.  It's pathetic, but there it is.  At least I still have my OSU Cowboys and Union Redskins, so that helps a little.  But still...I just don't think they should have allowed the NFL season to continue once they knew Peyton wouldn't be able to play.  I mean, it's just not football!!!

So the weight loss continues, little by little.  I am now down another 3 pounds, for a total of 115.  I think the most fun part has been the clothes shopping.  I can now go into any store and not feel embarrassed that they don't go up to my size.  I no longer have to limit myself to plus-size stores.  It's a wonderful thing.  A friend and I went down to the new OKC outlet mall last weekend and I had an absolute blast, trying on clothes I would never have dreamed of even looking at last year.  I got a great bargain on an expensive sweater dress I had been wanting, plus a new coat and jacket.  I have also fallen in love with Victoria's Secret jeans, just wishing I had ordered a size down because the ones I bought 2-3 weeks ago are now a little too big and I'll have to go down another size.  This is a good thing, and I'm not complaining, but they are expensive jeans and I wish I had been more optimistic and ordered another size down the first time.  It's all good, but every time I think I am probably arriving at my final weight and can buy new clothes, they end up being too big within a few weeks and I have to start over again.

So I think the weirdest thing of all is that I am wishing I was still a foodie.  It sounds ridiculous, because being a foodie is exactly how I ended up weighing nearly 300 pounds!  But I used to love food, and I mean I really LOVED food.  It was an enjoyable event, to go out and have dinner with the family.  Now food is just a necessary thing that I don't enjoy and don't really want, but I eat because I know I must.  There's no pleasure in it anymore, and even though I know it is completely irrational, I miss that true love of food and enjoying decadent desserts as well as rich and hearty main courses.  I would never go back to the way I was, but I do miss the love of food.  I guess now I am substituting the love of food with the love of clothes shopping.  :)


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